Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Who I Am

This summer, my church has been preaching a sermon series on the 7 "I Am" statements that Jesus made about Himself in the book of John.  This morning, as I was having a private pity party about the state of my physical and mental health right now in life, something struck me. Jesus had plenty to feel pitiful about, too...He cried, too...He wanted a different outcome, too.  But what got Him through it?

He knew who He was.  

When He gave us those "I Am" messages, He revealed in ways that we could understand that He was indeed God incarnate and had come for a purpose - to seek us and save us.  But what if He was speaking them to Himself, too? Verbal reminders of the absolute truths of His existence. Reassurance that no matter how out of control the world felt as he walked His way toward the cross, there was a plan...and it hadn't changed. HE hadn't changed.  Don't we all need that kind of knowledge from time to time?

Perhaps the better question is if He knew who He was...shouldn't I know who I am, too?  The enemy is gaining so much ground in my thought-life this summer, which is something really hard to admit for a Jesus Girl who loves her God as much as she ever has.  The enemy is trying hard to convince me that where I am is all there is, it won't get better, the best days of my life aren't truly ahead of me, they've already passed. But perhaps that's happening because I don't really understand and haven't laid claim to who I truly am.

And perhaps the way to take ground against my enemy is to do that - know my absolute truths and speak them. Own them.  Believe them.  So, with all due respect to my Savior who did this so much better than I'm about to, here are my own "I Am" truths.

I am a daughter of the King and I belong.  So much of this summer, I have felt lost, left out, alone. But what I feel is not what is true. I'm going to say that again...what I FEEL is not what's TRUE! What IS true is that I am a member of the family that God has made, and I can and should reach out when I feel lost and alone. I believe we were made for community, and right now in my life, I belong to some amazing ones that have my back and care deeply about me.  This is a precious gift.

I am perfectly imperfect.  Although I hate making and owning mistakes, I understand that they have been some of the most incredible opportunities for GRACE to make itself evident in my life.  I am alive and moving forward in life because of incredible grace! Forgiveness is a beautiful thing. I have experienced what the angels never will...to stand in need and embrace a Savior.  There is no need to continue to beat myself up over choices I've made that I regret...I've learned, I've been offered forgiveness, mercy, and grace, and I can move forward.

I am a work in progress.  I will never be complete this side of heaven, and I wasn't meant to be.  If I lack in an area, I trust God will work it out in me and lead me in His paths as I yield myself to Him.  I don't need to be complete, and in fact, I can't be.  Completeness isn't my goal - growth is.  Am I moving in the direction I should be is the question that should be answered....because when my direction is in alignment with His, then I am living a life that brings me satisfaction and happiness.

I am loving and kind.  This is something that makes me strong, not weak. I love deeply, easily, and well. I enjoy doing nice, kind things for people, and I will go out of my way to do so. My love and kindness are never misplaced, even when they are not returned to me the way I want or hope they will be. This world is very short in the love and kindness department, and sharing mine liberally isn't a bad thing.  In fact, it's exactly what God wants me to do...love like He does.

I am strong and capable.  Yes, I am limited right now physically, but I won't always be, and in fact, I have made many gains already to reclaim strength.  I will keep making those as time passes. Yes, I am mentally worn down right now, too, but that's my choice.  I am able to think, reason, pray, and make decisions that will change my reality. Those are God-given gifts, and when I use them, I AM strong and I AM capable of doing what I want and am called to do.

I am intelligent.  Yes, I forget things from time to time, more than I used to.  But I am smart.  I know things - many things - and that's nothing to be ashamed of.  Nor is it meant to become a source of false pride in my life.  It is the result of a lifetime of loving to learn, and I don't want to ever lose that desire to learn new things.

I am an overcomer.  I am because He is, and He says I am.  In fact, He says I am MORE than a conquerer! Jesus' victory on the cross gives me access to the same power He used to defeat death and the grave. If I'm not using it, it's not because it's not available...it's that I'm choosing not to access it, and I need to remember this!

Chronic pain is real, and it has passed the God-filter for this season of my life. He's allowed it in for His purposes in my life, and I know that it is, at least in part, responsible for my mental state.  I haven't been as strong as I want to be and need to be to fight the lies of my enemy...and I've had way too many pity parties!  The pain IS real...but I don't have to let it effect my reality.  These truths about me are no less true because I am in pain.  Maybe this is why He let it through when He stops so many other things.  Maybe He wants to me claim and live Philippians 4:8...

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just,
whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable,
if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise,
THINK ABOUT THESE THINGS."


OK, Jesus...I feel you!  It's time to focus on who I am...and who YOU are!  No more pity parties to begin my days.  There's nothing pitiful about me...not one thing!  Time to live that truth.

Moving Forward...
Angie
:-)